Tidbits of Paul (hmm, that sounds kind of gross...'tidbits re. Paul' maybe?)

*walking through Wal-Mart Paul reminds me for the 18th time...*

Him - Remember, I need to get deoderant.

Me - Yes, yes, I'm aware, baby!

Him - YOU'RE A WEREBABY?! Do you transform into an infant during the full moon? WAH WAH!

**********

Also, people are stopping Paul in restaurants and at work to ask if he is on American Idol. Seemingly he bears a strong resemblance to Danny Gokey (although admittedly Paul has a bit of weight on Danny). So, Paul wants to know if y'all agree. In the sidebar there is that cute picture of us and here is a picture of Danny:

Kind of, huh?

I talked to an old friend today, one who also had a miscarriage many years ago (almost every female I've mentioned my loss to has either had a miscarriage or had a family member who did, its astonishing) and she hit the nail on the head about how it feels. She said something like 'I became a mom the day that I found out I was pregnant, but I had no baby to show for it in the end. I was a mom without a child.' That is exactly it. That's exactly how I feel.

But, life goes on for the rest of us, doesn't it? The day after we got the bad news I was out and about early in the morning to drive into Knoxville (downtown Knoxville yet- aka more construction and interstate confusion than you have EVER SEEN) and have a second interview for a job I really want. I cried three times on the lengthy trip there but I held it together for the interview and did okay, I think. Because the job involves working with children I then had to head further into the confusion to go to the police station and get fingerprinted. I got lost twice and cried a few more times but I made it. So, I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I want this job but I would like to have another week or two to get over the physical problems associated with miscarrying.

We are also perpetually looking for a new house to rent and saw a great one in the MIDDLE OF NOWHERE on the weekend. It was a little old house with its own well for non-chemically-tasting water and so far in the country there is no trash service. Love that. So we put in an application and we'll hope on that too...although we were second on the list and I think that the stupid first people might get it.

We also managed to swing money for a movie this weekend and went to see The Dark Knight at the super cheap little theater here in our small town. Pretty good, eh? L-O-N-G though and seriously depressing. The subject matter was already depressing enough and then watching Heath Ledger's amazing final performance was even more depressing. Good movie though.

So, as always, we're waiting for stuff and hoping for good news but we're doing a bit better.

Weird Winnipeg

I've never been a fan of the art-house style of film. I don't 'get' those film festival staples. I'm not sure why, really, I'm a pretty smart person, I'm knowledgeable about a lot of things and I have an open mind...but that type of movie baffles and bores me.

Paul got the opportunity to work 4 hours of overtime yesterday and 12 today. Poor guy! that means he works 12 days without a break, but we are SO broke and he is SO hardworking, he agreed. I was dreading today, feeling sorry for Paul and thinking of 13 hours alone on a rainy Sunday (for lots of you that sounds like heaven, doesn't it?) so I decided to scroll through Comcast's On Demand features and one of them was 'My Winnipeg' , my former home. To watch the movie was $2 more that the other movies - $6.99. Isn't that INSANE! But I was desperately bored and we haven't rented movies in months so I decided to give it a go. I've been feeling very homesick lately and the blurb about the film indicated that it was 'a tribute' to Winnipeg and 'hysterical'.

Um, no. The creator, Guy Maddin, claims the film is a documentary but its not (his 'mother' in the film is a semi-famous actress). It was just...awful. The movie is almost all in black and white and much of it has fake snow superimposed over top of it. It was depressing and made Winnipeg seem like the worst place in the world. Winnipeg is portrayed as 'quirky' but in a bad way. I normally consider myself pretty well able to separate fact from fiction but I wasn't in this movie, Maddin mixes facts and 'facts' in such a way that I could never tell what was true.

(I didn't know that the Winnipeg Arena was demolished, by the way, and thought at first that that was another of his tall tales, but then he showed it getting destroyed and, holy moly, what an emotional moment! It was the only interesting part of the movie. The arena implodes and people in the background, off camera, are chanting 'Go Jets Go' and I BAWLED with homesickness)

I adore Winnipeg, I think it is one of the most amazing cities in the world. Quirky in a good way, open minded, open hearted and I was sad that this guy was making it out to be an eternally frozen city of misery where we all sleepwalk through our days.

Like I said, I don't get artsy movies and I surely didn't get this one. I suppose it was perhaps 'innovative', I didn't see that though. Please don't waste $6.99 on it like I did.

I see no connection between the titles of the movies I loved and the later gynecological questions.

Recently Heather of www.dooce.com wrote about her depression and how she was 'barely holding her shit together' etc. and, at last count, she had 1041 comments. ONE THOUSAND FORTY ONE! Somehow this makes her depression seem more...valid than mine.

I've received quite a few emails and 'growing gifts' on Facebook and things lately and I haven't responded to a single one. Not one. Just can't. This, however, is my way of saying thanks to those of you who are aware and care.

In my ickiness I have been watching tons of movies lately and I saw 'Friends With Money', 'Holes' and 'Walk The Line' in the last little while and I HIGHLY recommend all of them. Delicious, every one. 'Friends With Money', in particular (I'm very comma-y today) is filled with great characters and the Frances McDormand character is Depressed (I find depression to be worthy of the capital, don't you think?) She stops washing her hair because it will just get dirty again and starts yelling at cashiers and stuff and I found it so very, very accurate. Woman with what appears to be a great life falls apart and no one understands why. Great movie and quite funny, despite the Topic.

Let us continue my quest to have totally disjointed blog posts now by asking you a gynecological question! Yay! Where I come from (the North Pole, essentially, according to locals) women go to General Practitioners/Family Doctors for all their medical issues, including down-there exams. They go to OB/GYNs when they are involved in the baby making process or have a specific, significant issue in that down-there area. I shouldn't make that a blanket statement, I suppose, but that has been my experience. Here (the South, or the US in general, I don't know) , most, if not all, GPs do not do pap smears etc, for that you must see an OB/GYN. So, in order to complete my complete physical I have to go to one and I'm doing that on Wednesday. My question is, when you have two regular doctors like this, when do you call the gynecologist for an appointment and when do you call the GP? Is the gynecologist only and completely for, like, reproductive organ issues? Or for anything specific to the female gender? I guess this is a dumb question but I really don't know as I've never been to an OB/GYN before.

Okay, I'm gonna go wash my hair now.

If A Poodle Had A Lid On

Out of all the things that I could post right now, here's what I'm choosing:

I know nothing of the comic book franchise that is Iron Man, but I can certainly tell you that they made a FANTASTIC movie about him. Paul and I saw it last night (yay, date night!) and we both absolutely loved it. I didn't look at my watch once, Robert Downey Jr. was awesome, just fantastic all around.

After that we came home and watched 30 Days of Night...less good...I thought they maybe could have done something better with it but it sure did scare me...before bed I had to go get the quilt out of the dryer in the basement and I made Paul come with me.

Also in the media genre: It is well known that I have this weird obsession thing with WKRP in Cincinnatti. You may not even remember this sitcom but it was possibly the best one ever and its NEVER in reruns on TV and I would like to know WHY! Anyway, if you do remember the show, remember the closing theme? Not the awesome sweet opening theme (Baby, if you ever wonder...*sighs happily*) but the weird, unintelligible closing one? I've read before that the reason you can't understand the lyrics to it are because there are none, the guy just randomly sang into the microphone, but that is obviously wrong because my friend Chris sent me this:

Title - Stealing From Others

All right, let's do a 'what's Jenn watching/reading/listening to' post! ( You see, when you have no life, these are the things you resort to )

Blogs

I'm adding two new blogs to my 'Blogs I've Gotta Have' link. The first is the blog of author Joshilyn Jackson, she writes terrific books and her blog is hilarious and frenetic in its pace.

The second is the blog of my web friend 'Chickenbells'. Her blog is funny and heavy on the pictures, which is always a welcome break from lengthy, picture-free posts like mine.

Songs

I recently heard this song again on Classic Pop-Up Video and just burst into tears. I FREQUENTLY can be heard to say that they don't make music anymore like they did in the 80's and this is a perfect example. I love those male 80's singers with the high, clear voices - you know like the Boston guy and the Foreigner guy. The lead singer here definitely has that type of voice, and, in watching the video I now realize that these guys are clearly Scottish (although I just tried to find proof of that and I can't without spending more time on it than its worth, I'm pretty damn positive about the accent though) and since I love all things Scottish, I now love this song even more.


Lest thou thinkest that I only listen to music from 20 years ago, how bout this one? You all know about Matisyahu by now, right? He's this Hasidic Jewish raggae singer, how's that for a bit odd? I hear he has recently moved to a different sect of Judaism, but he still wears the traditional garb and facial hair etc. He looks like, well, let's just say that when he begins to sing you won't believe it. He crosses a million boundaries; for example, he sings about God, but some of my VERY non-God-believing-in friends still love him. This video is slightly boring but you get to see what he looks like and hear him perform my favorite song live. I'm describing this poorly so just watch this video. Give it a chance, you will love it. (Bernice, I'm betting you will flip for this, although I could be totally wrong)


TV Shows

I'm filled with hatred for the cursed writers who are striking and not letting me watch new episodes of my stories. WAH! But, there were just three new episodes of House which you should SERIOUSLY be watching. So funny, so interesting and almost always thought provoking at the end. Also, The New Adventures of Old Christine is back on and you should definitely be watching that, its the second funniest show on TV! And finally, you should check out the new show Eli Stone. (Spoilers about the plot that are revealed in the first episode follow) Eli is a hardhearted lawyer who represents billion dollar companies that regularly screw the little guy. He is filled with resentment for his dead father who he believes was a crazy alcoholic. One day he starts hearing George Michael's 'Faith' and eventually he sees George performing in his living room. He goes to see his neurologist brother who tells him he has an inoperable brain aneurysm that could kill him at any time. Oh yes, and the aneurysm could cause him to see and hear things that aren't there, which, as it turns out, is what his dad dealt with too. The visions now aim him towards doing 'the right thing' and he comes to believe (or at least his wise friend has come to believe) that he may be a prophet for our generation. I've watched two episodes and they were both FANTASTIC! Courtroom drama, good music, funny dialogue and meaningful bits that make me cry (although, as we know, this is like shooting fish in a barrel).

Cause any song that uses the word 'Australopithecus' is okay by me

So, have we talked about The Big Bang Theory? BEST SHOW ON TV! Also, it has a kickass theme song by...The Barenaked Ladies! Whee! Sadly, the song is sung by second banana Ed Robertson and not Steven Page, which makes it slightly less great, but still.

This song makes me teary and I'm not sure exactly why since its a goofy, happy song, but you know me. (Theories on why it makes me weepy are welcome) Go watch this video. I'm gonna go listen to Gordon.

Temporary New Favorite Television Quote Ever:

From Futurama:

"Good news everyone! I've taught the toaster to feel love"

Stream of Consciousness

So many things to post about, brain is swimming with ideas. Tell people about:

- 2008 New Year's Resolutions

- How Andrea doesn't plan and things fall into place and I plan obsessively and NOTHING works out for me and then I get negative and people say 'you shouldn't be so negative' and then I say 'HELLO, are you familiar with the concept of clinical depression?!' and then they say 'you expect things to go badly and then they do' and then I say 'no, no, things have always gone badly so I KNOW they will continue to and then they do'.

- How there are 54 days til we have health insurance again and I will be REALLY IMPRESSED with God if He keeps me out of the ER for that long. Hear that, God? Really impressed!

- How pissy it makes me that the 'Which Sex and the City Character are you' quiz on Facebook said that I was Miranda when I'm so CLEARLY Charlotte but then when I thought about it more I realized I was Miranda, the most obnoxious character on the show (next to Big and don't even get me started about how Carrie ended up with Big and the whole show ended when all the strong, independent women found love, true love. GAH!)

- How my friends and I used to always try to decide which TV character we were most like and I always thought is was so definitely Monica from Friends (if she never lost the weight) but then I realized the other day that I am so totally and obviously a female version of Alan Harper on Two and a Half Men.

Slightly manic today, can you tell?

AHHHHH!

Jeebus that last post sounded high and mighty...hmm...sorry. Anyway, I wanted to tell you two other things.

One is that we had a lovely time just the two of us on Christmas Day; I made a delicious dinner out of ingredients from the middle eastern store and we went to see a matinee (read, cheap!) of National Treasure: Book of Secrets. Let me just say about NT:BofS...you know how in I Am Legend I got pissed off about how one or two things were just so wrong? Well, the creators of IAL seemed to make you want to think that that situation could actually happen and they were very good at that! So, when they screwed up, you were unable to suspend your disbelief. Now, here's the thing about NT:BofS - just suspend your disbelief before you walk into the theatre. Just enjoy the ridiculousness. Its great fun if you let it be, we enjoyed it tremendously.

Two is that I did get a gift after all! It was in the form of information - a movie poster that I saw at the theatre and its that...oh this is too much...its actually going to happen...
INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL FREAKIN' SKULL!!!!!!!!
May 22, could NOT BE MORE EXCITED!

And, now I'm crying again

Thanks to the miracle of DVR I have been able to watch two of my favorite Christmas movies recently. Last night was Elf, and I'm sorry, but I just think its hysterical. Will Ferrell is fantasticly cute, as always, Zooey Deschanel is charming and can sing! And any movie that has Bob Newhart dressed up as an elf is fine by me. I just think that the childlike wonder Will Ferrell brings to the part is the perfect feeling for a Christmas movie.

And then, there's Love Actually. Do not even get me STARTED on how much I love this movie. Even Keira Knightley and her frying pan face don't ruin it for me. I'm not going to rant and rave about each moment that I love, since its most of them, but I am going to end with a quote from Hugh Grant who says this as a voiceover at the beginning of the movie. This may or may not be my last post before Christmas, but regardless this is my message to you for Christmas whether you are celebrating the birth of our Savior or celebrating the fact that the holidays are for family and love and stuffing yourself full of red raspberry hard candies. Merry Christmas!

Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the
arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion's starting to make
out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that.
It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often it's not particularly
dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there - fathers and sons,
mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old
friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know none of
the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or
revenge - they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a
sneaking suspision love actually is all around.

Oh Comcast, how I hate thee so...

...except for right at the moment because A) I'm reserving all my hatred for Budget Rent-A-Truck right now since two, TWO, of their CSR's accused me of lying yesterday and B) because we finally got a DVR box the other day. I mean, seriously, its 4 dollars more a month than the regular box and pretty much our entire world of entertainment is Blockbuster Total Access and TV so its a good investment for us. I scrolled through the listings when we got it and set it to record a few things that I thought I would enjoy and lo, I did enjoy them! This morning when I got up I scurried downstairs and checked 'my recordings' and found that my DVR had recorded Oprah, Dr. Phil, Columbo and Murder She Wrote. For just a moment there, I didn't hate the world.

Blogger won't let me copy and paste...

...so what was supposed to be three separate entries is apparently going to be one since I'm not willing to retype everything.

Settling in is going well, everything is unpacked and set up. Tomorrow the garbage goes out and I will start hanging pictures and things. I've also been compiling a list of all the things we need to get this place in working order. There are a lot. We did get quite a few things with Paul's first paycheck the other day though. Semi-necessities like a bathmat and some storage for the bathroom as well as some very necessities like lightbulbs (I counted; when we moved in 16 out of 24 lightbulbs were burnt out. LAME) and batteries for the smoke detectors (none of the three are working, hopefully the new batteries are all they need. Also LAME). We really need a stepladder now to install all of this stuff. Only 1 toilet is working yet. We put in a request for a plumber on Monday but...apparently anything we want done around here is going to have to be done ourselves. I hate people. But the place is shaping up and once we have curtains it may even be kind of nice.

**********

Also with Paul's first paycheck we had our first date in FOREVER! I didn't want to spend too much, and we didn't really, but after all this time and all this stress I decided that a date with my husband was now pushed from 'should do' into 'must do now'. Before we left we were trying to decide where to go.

Me - I want Indian food, how bout that?

Him - Nearest one is in the city, let's go somewhere closer.

Me - Is there a Caribbean place around here?

Him - I dunno.

Me - I just want something a little more...ethnic for a change.

Him - How bout Ruby Tuesday's!

Me -You're an idiot.

Him - Okay, I was kidding, but we could just go there, its close.

Me - No. I like Tuesday's too but not for today, for date night I want something nice.

So, we decided to just head out and look for something that looked good. We stopped to fill the car with gas first and while we were paying we asked the lady behind the counter where would be a good place to eat. She asked what we were looking for and I said 'something nice for date night'. The guy behind us immediately piped up with what I thought was 'Louie's' but his accent was so strong I couldn't tell. I was about to ask what that was when the women ringing in our gas agreed with him wholeheartedly; 'Oh yeah, Ruby Tuesday's is great. We've got everything though (said proudly), you could go to the Red Lobster too. The two nodded at each other as though the matter had been settled and I scurried off to the car to laugh until tears ran down my face.

We drove and drove and ended up in the city after all and wound up at...a chain restaurant after all. It was Romano's Macaroni Grill. We had never been there before and although it was not what I had been after, it was really, really good! Nice ambience, great food, amazing bread. We were impressed. Apparently, we are fitting in more quickly than we thought.

Now, normally Paul can only do one thing when we're out. If I try to get him to do two things in one outing he panics. But when we left the restaurant that day, he pointed out that there was a mall right across the street and maybe we should see what movie was playing there. We considered it a sign when we saw that I Am Legend was starting in 5 minutes. Yay date night!! The movie was great and I'm going to discuss it below so bye! to those of you who don't want spoilers.




***** SPOILERS RE. I AM LEGEND BELOW *****




So, I Am Legend was really, really good. Mostly because of really cool scenes of an overgrown NYC and because of Will Smith. Seriously. Good at funny, good at action, good at drama and, I'm just sayin', he's not hard on the eyes either. Beforehand I knew nothing about the book that the movie was based on or the other movies that had been made of the book. Reading up about them now I see some serious flaws in the movie, but while watching it there were only two things I disliked. One was just that there wasn't much 'horror' or even really much action. it was mostly watching Will Smith survive totally alone. He was great at that, frankly, almost as good as Tom Hanks in Castaway, but I was expecting a little more action. Even that I didn't mind though, what I did mind was it was so mind-numbingly SAD! Paul said that I cried four times and I'm guessing that that's a conservative estimate. I mean, I knew the situation would be sad, but I expected an action movie, not a tearjerker.

The other thing that pissed me off is a super spoiler so don't read more if you don't want to know! Okay, so Will is capturing the vampire creatures to do tests on them to try and 'fix' the virus. He captures a female and a male risks burning his flesh by coming out into the sunlight after her. Clearly, to me, this meant that the male cared for the female and was willing to endure extreme pain to help her. But later as Will records his video diary, he says that the creatures 'desocialization' is complete. Huh? How could he have misinterpreted that? In the end that misinterpretation is his downfall, so maybe that's the point. But the movie sets him up as this superhero who has survived for years on his wits alone, and I don't think the creators of the movie explain how he could have been so dumb as to not catch that. In reading reviews after I watched the movie this seemed to be a common complaint. Reviewers were also wetting their pants in irritation over the fact that 'I Am Legend' in the book is supposed to be bitterly ironic but in this movie its not at all. Will Smith is made out to be the hero who saves mankind and that's not what the original intent is. Apparently! I can only say apparently as I have never read the book or seen the previous movies.

All that being said though, apart from the many tears, it was a fantastic movie. Full of great acting and cool CGI. I highly recommend it. Just suspend your disbelief as you would for almost any other movie.

Hey though, on a positive note, the Discovery channel seems to be doing this all-Dirty Jobs-or- Survivorman-all-the-time thing so there's always something to watch!

13 days

I am currently completely and utterly immersed in the world of Harry Potter. Chamber of Secrets is on tv right now, in a few days Order of the Phoenix is coming to theaters (YAYAYAYAY) and in less than two weeks Book Seven will be arriving at my door. I'm so excited I could poop. Last night I finished my reading of all six books again so I am FULLY PREPARED to appreciate the last one. I cried for probably the entire last 20 pages until Paul had to come into the bedroom and tell me that it would be okay. And last night as I was almostalmost asleep, my brain screamed "Regulus Black!! It must be him! R.A.B.!" So this morning I had to check what the internet people say and indeed, that is the general concensus on the identity of R.A.B. But I figured it out myself, dammit!

**********

On another topic - I still have no friends. In part because I have nowhere to go to meet friends and in part because I have become a shy wallflower who is too scared to meet people even if I had a chance. However, all this desperately lonely/bored time has given me a good idea of who I WISH I had for friends. Here is the list:

A) A female friend who had a strictly religious upbringing but then wildly rebelled and then relaxed into state somewhere between the two (so, you know, me). Ideally this friend could also be the same size as me so we could go through each others closets giggling wildly and trading clothes and shoes. And she would like sexy clothes and convince me to sometimes wear more revealing tops and maybe even shoes that show my toes!

B) A flamboyantly gay male friend (think Jack from Will & Grace). One who called me by ridiculously over the top pet names and did crazy things to help me come out of my shell. Ideally he would also be on board for Sound of Music singalongs.

C) A tell-it-like-it-is, no nonsense kind of girlfriend. In my mind this one is probably Puerto Rican (think Carla from Scrubs). She would tell off the idiots in our lives and make me laugh at all times.

This would complete my need for friends and give me a full and meaningful life. So, that's not too much to ask for, is it? IS IT?! Find me a friend!

Oh, also, for GOD'S SAKE go rent Idiocracy!

Weekend Update

Pretty nice weekend here in the Pop & Soda household. We watched a bunch of movies and episodes of Corner Gas (which is a fantastic Canadian show that my sister Shari gave us the first three seasons of for a wedding present). On Saturday I had my first DMV experience (although they call it the DDS now). I was pretty worried since every American sitcom ever made has done an episode about the horror of the DMV, but it was fine. We were there to get Paul's licence renewed and it was all pretty quick and the people were, if not friendly, certainly not hostile. I really think that Canada does a whole lot of things right, but America definitely has Canada beat in the driver's licence department. In 20 minutes Paul had his picture taken, did an eye test and got a neat little wallet sized card that cost $35 for TEN years. My Canadian licence costs over $50 for one year and is a two part thing that looks stupid and unprofessional. Hate that. Anyway, I guess America has to be better than my home and native land in at least one or two ways.

Then, on Sunday we celebrated Paul's 30th birthday! We relaxed for much of the day and then went to see The Reaping. The movie was SO good, very creepy and dramatic and just my cup of tea. Paul's parents sent him a card and check and my parents had me order a game of Scrabble for him (so we played Scrabble twice yesterday too). He also is getting a gift from me but even though I paid for two day shipping, it is not here yet. GRRRR! AND, he bought himself a special gift too. So, I think he had a pretty good birthday, I hope so cause, well, I love him and also 30 is pretty special.

Yowza, everything on TV these days is about getting prepared to do your taxes, I'm SO glad I took care of that weeks ago already.

**********

In other 'what's on TV' news...let me just say, along with every other blogger in the entire world, if Sanjaya doesn't get voted off American Idol soon, I will...I dunno, but I'll be really sad. Also, I would like to pledge my undying love to LaKisha, Melinda and Blake, the only three contestants on AI this year who can sing.

I know, I know, reality show watchers are losers (you're thinking it!). But I can't help it, I like some of them, and I really like having a pre-arranged date with Paul where we both sit down and watch something together and can bitch and moan or, less frequently, ooh and aah at the contestests.

**********

Also, on our small screen yesterday was "The Prestige". You should really, really rent The Prestige, however, be prepared to pay attention. I'm pretty sharp most of the time but I had to pause the movie twice to ask Paul what was going on. To be fair, the sound was all funny and our tv doesn't support closed captioning (which, seriously, how suck is that).

The movie is written and directed by the same guy who did Memento and it starred Hugh Jackman and Christian Bale and Michael Caine and Andy Serkis (Smeagol/Gollum) AND David Bowie AND Scarlett Johansson, it just goes on and on. It is dark and fascinating and weird and I just totally loved it. It reminded me a lot of the novel 'Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell' by Susanna Clarke, which was so utterly unbelievable. So, if you have 2 1/4 hours watch The Prestige, although, like I said it is not a fluffy movie, you have to -watch- it. And, if you have, maybe 15 hours and want a good book, go read Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell.

Tuesday Tidbits

Movie Mad

Did I already write about 'V for Vendetta'? I can't remember, but I was coerced into seeing it and it is the best movie I've seen since 'Moulin Rouge'. See it NOW!



The Captain

Paul has taken to calling himself 'The Captain'
For example: at the grocery store

Me - Do you think that all these groceries are gonna fit into the back seat?

Him - If two fat chicks fit, these groceries will fit.

Me - Hey!! I'm a fat chick!

Him - I know. I love fat chicks, that's why I've had two of em back there. Because, who am I? (looks at me pointedly)

Me - (dejectedly) You're The Captain.



Sometimes I'm Glad My Name is So Boring

There is a show on down here that I see in the listings all the time but have never actually watched. Every time I see the name of it though, I giggle because it sounds of so very Southern. "Changing Your World with Creflo Dollar" Creflo!!



They Say That Mentally Ill People Often Imagine That They Are Being Watched

Me - I've noticed that when you are doing silly dances and stuff you are not so much doing them for me as looking at yourself in the mirror. You think you are the funniest man in the world, don't you?

Him - ...yes?

Me - I also notice that sometimes your eyes dart off to one side. Who are you looking at when you are doing that?

Him - (sighing and speaking very quietly) ...the audience.



I Rock...Or Else The Recipe Was Really Easy

I made Ryan's Foccacia last week. It was so good that I made it again the next day. It was my first attempt at bread of any kind and it turned out really well. 4 teaspoons of herbs of your choice are called for and what worked for me was one each of garlic, onion, parsley and red pepper flakes. Try it :)

Deuce Bigalow?

***edit***

Paul seems to think that it is very important that I mention that they did NOT form a softball team, it was a baseball team! So there! Doesn't that change everything!

***end of edit***

Paul and I were talking about junior high and high school the other day. We were both heavily tortured by our classmates so we have terrible memories of school, but its nice to talk about it with someone. Then a few nights ago Paul came home with a movie rental - The Benchwarmers. I guess I made a face when I saw it and he said 'you like the guys in here, right?' So, I checked out the actors. Napolean Dynamite guy? PASS. The Animal guy? PASS. David Spade...not bad, although he's dating (or dated?) that Heather Locklear skank so there must be something wrong with him too.

Well, when you are married, you sometimes do things to make the better half happy, so I watched it. And it was good. Like, really funny, not too much bathroom humour and just generally sweet. As it turns out, David Spade was the least likeable. The other two actors were actually really adorable and funny. Rob Schneider was...weirdly...kind of sexy. I hate to admit that, but there it is.

***Mild Spoilers below***
The plot, in a nutshell, is this - Three guys who were severely bullied as children (and still are) form a mini softball team so they have a chance to play ball and so that they can rally currently bullied children around them so the kids will feel like they are involved in something. Anywho, at the end, of course, everything turns out really sweet and me, being me, cried a wee bit at the end because I understand what bullied kids feel like and such.

If you were bullied or, heaven forfend, a bullier, go out and rent it :)