Where Was Dr. Kovac?!

So, I have now had my first official American Emergency Room Experience. I have always been told that because you have to PAY for health care down here, the health care experience is a lot better. HAHAHAHAHA! I laugh!

Okay, so, here's the deal. About 3 weeks ago or so, I caught a really bad cold (along with every one of my friends, they caught the cold too, I didn't catch them). The cold became what I thought was bronchitis, cause I get that every year. But, I don't think it actually was, cause it didn't last long enough. At some point during my illness though, I developed pain in my left eye. I thought it was, in turn, part of the cold, allergies, a sty, conjunctivitis, blepharitis, a rip in my cornea etc. But the pain got worse. It radiated out from my eye to the point where I couldn't even lean on Paul's shoulder cause leaning my temple against him hurt so badly. I was in great discomfort and was sleeping, honesty, like 16 hours a day. As well, I couldn't even put my hand on Paul's leg while we were driving or anything, cause he said I was so hot, it felt like I was burning him.

We debated numerous times over going to the doctor, but always decided against it for some reason. Then we got money from my folks for Christmas and I told Paul that that was a sign that I had to go. So, I looked up walk-in clinics online and found one about a half hour away. We went there and it was a -beautiful- office and I got seen within 5 minutes. The nurse practitioner who saw me ( I never got a doctor) was a BITCH!!!! I cannot emphasize enough how grumpy she was. I won't tell you all of what made her bitchy, but trust me. After a few minutes of questions, she asked me to take off my glasses ( I haven't been able to wear my contacts in almost a month, I feel SO hideous with my glasses on. My mom always told me 'boys don't make passes at girls who wear glasses'. Except for Amy, boys make passes at Amy) and she looked at my eye. At one point she asked me to shut my eyes and pressed gently on my closed lids. I pretty much shrieked it hurt so much on my left eye. She got up and left the room.

When she came back, she was a whole different person. She treated me with respect and pity combined and told me that I needed to go the the ER -immediately- and ask for an MRI. Um...okay... I asked questions and she said 'Its probably trigeminal neuralgia (my mom has a form of neuralgia) or glaucoma, but you need to have an MRI -today- to make sure its not something more serious. Okay, panic. So she told me where to go and told me to follow up with her for the results in 3 days. And in the meantime, she wouldn't charge me for this visit. That part was nice.

So, I told Paul and, long story short, we managed to have a HUGE fight in the car on the way to the hospital, so when we arrived we were both crying. I kid you not. I told the people at the desk what the NP had told me. They told me to sit and wait. I asked for an estimated time, they told me two hours. So after 2 hours and 20 minutes, Paul went up to ask, politely, how much longer it would be. They said that I was 'next'. Of course, we saw two other people called right after that. So Paul went up and started asking questions. I was in so much pain by then because of the bright flourescent lights, that I started bawling and went up and told him that we should just leave before we owed them any money. They tried very hard to discourage me. And in the process happened to mention that the MRI techs left for the day at 5 pm, which was EXACTLY when we had checked in. So, I'm ashamed to admit, I freaked. FREAKED. Why, I said, had I been waiting over 2 and a half hours for an MRI, when there was nobody there to administer one?! There was a lot of bumbling and confusion til finally someone said that they would have to make an appointment for me for the MRI, but in the meantime I had to see an ER doc first.

Okay, I said, but I must not be considered an emergency because EVERYONE else, including people who were just admitted were being seen before me. Oh okay, it turns out that this is beacuse they were all 'minor' emergencies and I was a 'major' emergency. All right, I said, so why do the minor emergencies get seen before the major emergency. Well, it turns out, because they are seen by different people and the 'minor' room is not busy, but the 'major' room is. So, I told them I was leaving. They were just short of bodily restraining me to go when finally one nurse had the great idea that she would show me in and I could lie down on a gurney in the hall 'just until a room is ready!" Now, bear in mind that at this point we had been there almost 3 hours already.

So, I sat down on a gurney and we waitied. A doctor saw me almost immediately and basically said that the NP was insane and that why would she send me here without calling the ER first. I think that maybe he didn't believe me :p He said he would look at my eyes and get a blood test to check for infection. ONE HOUR later, someone came by and did and eye test on me, like a, read this chart, test. 45 minutes later a woman came by and took my blood. She called me 'boo' which Paul says is a term of endearment. She was nice :) About a half hour after that, a second doctor came and said 'you know that you're gonna get a CT scan, right?" Um, no! But a bit later, they wheeled me away for a CT scan. I got back to my GURNEY IN THE HALL, cause I still didn't have a room, even though the room RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME WAS EMPTY!!!!! and they told me it would be 40 minutes for results. About an hour later, the first doc came back and checked my eyes, it took maybe one minute. Then we waited. Finally the second doctor came back and told me that my eye checks were clear, and I had no infection and that I still had to wait for the first doctor to tell me the results of the CT. Finally, 6 and a half hours after we got there, the first doctor came back and said that the CT was clear. So he was recommending me to an opthamologist, and (my first good news of the day) giving me Vicodin for the pain. YAY!

So, we went to Walgreens and got my Vicodin. By the way, the next day was Paul's first day at his new job and he had to take a very extensive test on the menu, and we didn't get home til after midnight and when we did get home, desperate to study, there were 3 people in our living room and Keef was on Paul's computer...Anyway. So we studied, while I happily ate Vicodin.

He aced the test and is enjoying his new job, and I have spent the four days since then in a happy Vicodin haze, sleeping 12 -18 hours a day, getting up to make sleepy conversation with Paul about his day, feed the dog and then fall back asleep. My eye hurts, but somewhat less.

The moral of the story is that...um...anyone?