I have always been a cryer, lately though, much more. Its not sad crying, its crying because I'm moved (easily moved, granted).
Today, alone, these are some of the things (just some of the things) that made me cry (music is the biggest culprit, today and most days):
- A commercial where they played Bob Dylan's 'The Times They Are A-Changing"
- Listening to a mix cd and hearing "Major Tom" by Peter Schilling
- Listening to people talk about the death of Coretta Scott King (wife of MLK Jr) and hearing them say that she was 'free at last'. Oh crap, now I'm crying again.
- Radiohead singing "Karma Police". I have no earthly idea what the song means but when he whines at me 'Phew, for a minute there, I lost myself. I lost myself." I lose it.
I think that its part of the chemical imbalance that leads to my depression or something. Cause its not just the beauty of the music, its that my brain immediately conjures up huge back stories or possibilities for these songs.
Eg, Major Tom - when he sings 'give me wife my love, then nothing more' I suddenly think of all the people who have lost their spouses this way. The 9/11 Flight 93 people, the Challenger people.
Or another example, when I hear Bob Dylan sing about how the times are changing, I'm suddenly thinking about the 60's and how people were so earnest about their beliefs, protesting the war, stopping segregation. The times WERE a changin' and I'm THERE at that moment.
I fascinate myself, in a spooky sort of, 'wow, I'm fucked' way.
5 comments:
Wow, I had lots to read on your site today! I also like people to update daily and realize that it's just not gonna happen :P I feel a variety of ways about this post! You are easily moved, but I see it more as boundless compassion rather than destructive depression. The only way depression (and this is just my personal theory for -you-) pokes its head in there is that you tend to embrace the teariness rather than sort of go 'Woo! That's sad, what else can take my mind off this?'. I think I offer you far too much ass-vice in your posts. I guess I've always been the analytical sort :P And this may bolster this epiphany: my least favourite trait in other people is thoughtlessness. Lord knows I'm never guilty of that!
Holy crap! I thought Major Tom was done by David Bowie. Wow. What a letdown for me! I know what you mean by crying. I was very easily moved to tears by lots of things before my lexapro. Now I have a kind of "I don't really give a f%&! attitude". And as far as the War or the Worlds thing, I still think that the original was better because I don't really see Tom Cruise in movies or real life for that matter, being a father. It's just kind of strange, but I can't picture him as anything but a young guy who wouldn't be caring for kids. And yeah, Dakota Fanning's pretty much my most favorite young actress and she was the greatest in Sam I Am (in itself a real tearjerker). And, if you get a chance, watch Somewhere In Time and you'll cry, and then when you hear that haunting melody again, you'll cry again and every time after that that you hear it! Good to read your blog. I really enjoy finding out these neat things about you. And I can picture Paul saying "a cold" when the aliens died. I didn't know that either and Frank kinda answered me the same way! "Uh, they caught our germs and didn't have a defense against them." Oh, really Frank, I didn't know that! Thanks for cluing me in (because seriously, I was clueless!) OK, bye for now. Mom2
No no, Laz, I like your advice! you are a much more in-control-emotionally person than i am, so the insights that you have are ones that I probably never could have. And I actually agree completely with your opinion. I do sort of wrap myself in the emotion that i feel because I almost feel that its...important, maybe, that I experience the emotion and wring everything out of it. That's weird to say, but true I think. See, this blog is like going to a therapist!
And Mom, you might be thinking of Space Oddity by David Bowie. That's the one where he sings 'Ground control to Major Tom'. Also a fantastic song. But the Peter Schilling one was written later and in my opinion is even better :)
I think everyone is moved by music Gwennifre. Well, not stupid people, but they have lots of other things to entertain them, like monster tr0cks.
Anyways, my point is, you just let yourself get more caught up in them. Also, monster tr0cks are cool.
Chris
Monster tr0cks ARE cool and don't let me hear sarcasm in your text, there mister!
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