As we were preparing for sleep last night Paul declared that he was hungry and I suggested that he should eat the last Red Hot as it was about to be thrown out. A few minutes later he came back into the room with a turkey sandwich...
Me - Hey, I thought you were gonna eat a Red Hot!
Him - Well, here's what happened. I went to get the Red Hot but its friend, turkey sandwich meat, was very very sad that I was going to take it away. I told the turkey meat that the Red Hot was going to get eaten, and I determined that the sandwich meat wanted to be eaten too so it could meet up with its friend again in my stomach.
Me - Ah, so it was a benevolent act?
Him - Yes! Plus, I love sandwiches.
Me - You wanna hear the sandwich song?
Him - You know the sandwich song?
Me - (singing) Sandwiches are beautiful, sandwiches are fine!
I like sandwiches, I eat them all the time!
I eat them for my supper and I eat them for my lunch!
If I had a hundred sandwiches I'd eat them all at once!
Him - That's the sandwich song?
Me - Yeah, what did you think it was?
Him - I thought it was like the song that some sandwich club had as their club song and you somehow knew it.
Me - Really? You thought that the sandwich song was the theme song to some underground sandwich club and that unbeknowst to them I had learned their song? Really? That was your best guess?
Him - Well, yeah, and then I would turn you in for having classified information and I would be a hero! *gasps* And a hero is a kind of sandwich too! *rolls over with a look that indicates his life has just made sense all at once*
3 comments:
Oh, that is the werst...
Jack
Hilarious. I think Paul and my husband would get along quite well.
I'm glad you keep notes on your conversations, they are always hilarious. You and Paul are two peas in a pod :)
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