A Positive Post That Will Have You Briefly Thinking That It Is A Negative Post

Paul and I fight quite a lot. I used to worry about that a lot, but I think that I have relaxed about it a bit now because of a realization that I had. With my very first boyfriend, Graham, I was pretty much totally myself because he was my first steady guy and I had no idea that sometimes people brought forth the best version of themselves into a relationship, at least the beginning of one. Graham and I lasted only 6 months or so and when he dumped me my heart was broken. The next serious relationship wasn't for a few years and when that one started I was not the real me at all. The next one was the same, and the next. Graham and I fought quite a bit, pretty bad stuff. But then the next several boyfriends and I almost never fought - because what's to fight about when your woman says and does exactly what she thinks you want to hear and do!

Our roommate is dating a new woman and is in the obnoxious throes of new love. He and I were having a heart to heart the other day and I asked him what his biggest fear was about his girlfriend. Without hesitation he replied 'that she is bringing her representative'. I had never before heard that phrase but instantly understood what he meant; that she was bringing into the relationship the best of herself and holding back the bad (or even just real) stuff. Of course, everyone is on their best behaviour in the beginning of a new friendship of any kind, but there is a difference between that and hiding what is really you.

As I said, Paul and I fight quite a lot, but I think that that is because neither of us brought our representative to this relationship. When my mom first met Paul, she told me afterwards that what she liked the most was that I was exactly the same person around him as I was when he wasn't around. Being totally yourself may cause more fights because everyone has quirks that may irritate another person (God knows I have plenty), but it also helps guarantee that the love can weather richer or poorer and sickness or health.

I've brought my representative into too many relationships, I'm so glad that the Jenn who Paul loves is the same Jenn that I know and love.


***Jenna, sorry, I didn't mean to delete your comment. I got a spam comment and hit the button and removed yours too. Whoops!***