Holy Crap!! Are you aware that I'm getting married in 20 sleeps?! I'm having a sudden bit of panic. Shouldn't I be starving myself or moaning about how I'll never have another first kiss or something?

I am semi panicking because Paul doesn't have a suit yet (we're gonna shop tomorrow) and I don't have underthings yet AND we don't have a place for dinner yet. Day before yesterday Paul and I had one of the biggest arguments we've ever had and in retrospect I'm quite certain that it was just panic on both of our parts. Both of us got married to the people we believed were our soulmates and both of them walked out on both of us...it makes you a little gunshy.

I decided against writing our own vows because who am I kidding? I couldn't even walk down the aisle the first time without bawling, I most certainly can't recite my own vows. ' I do' will be tough enough. I have selected two phrases, though, that I really want the minister to insert. One is 'what therefore God did join together, let no man put asunder'. *weep* I love love love that and I think it ends the vows perfectly. I also want this:
The Lord bless you, and keep you;
The Lord make His face shine on you, And be gracious to you;
The Lord lift up His countenance upon you,
And give you peace.
(Numbers 6:24-26)

Our pastor when I was a kid would sometimes say this at the end of the church service and he would lift up his hands as though he were reaching out to all of us and honestly imploring God to bless us in those ways and it always gave me tremendous peace and a sense of being loved. *bawling*

On a less serious note, I am also trying to decide about music. The chapel says that they have 'standard, traditional wedding music' playing but that I can select whatever I want if I want a specific song. So, I was debating between 'Sheep May Safely Graze', 'Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring' and 'Pachelbel's Canon' for walking down the aisle music (I know, all standard stuff as well). So, the other day Pachelbel's Canon was playing on TV and I said 'hey, this is one of the songs I'm considering for our wedding.'

Him - *squirming* Um.

Me - Oh no, did your ex-wife walk down the aisle to this?

Him - Yeah, its Pachelbel's Canon, right?

Me - Aw, crap, I guess that's out.

Him - *squirming increasing*

Me - What?

Him - Well, ex-wife also played this when we had romance time so it got to the point eventually that whenever-I heard-it-I-would-get-a-boner.

Me - *silence*

Him - *silence*

Me - Okay, then! Good thing we discussed it!

Him - *squirms*