Dear Teenaged Jennifer,
First of all, please stop telling people to spell the shortened version of your name as “Jenn”. “Jen” is fine, okay. Just because spelling it with 2 N’s is –slightly- more unusual is not a good enough reason to go through the business of getting everyone to change to that. And, by the time you’re around 30, you’re going to wish that you stuck with 1 N Jen anyway.
Understand quickly that men are going to hurt you. It’s not because ‘men are scum’, it’s because we don’t marry the first person we fall in love with. Very few people are that lucky (?). Men will break up with you and break your heart and you will learn something and forget about all the garbage and move on. Probably more quickly than you expect.
Understand that women are going to hurt you too. We can be cruel to our friends. It’s not because ‘women are bitches', its because we don’t hold on to the same friends our whole life…we change, they change and that’s okay.
Understand that your friends are unbelievably valuable. That group of girls that you will hang out with from the bookstore where you’ll work for years; Andria, Linda, Jo etc, they are fantastic women who will do amazing things. Love them fiercely while you have them. After that you will meet another girl from the bookstore and she will become your roommate and your best friend and lead you to her friends who will become the rest of the group that shape you and your life more than anyone else ever again. Enjoy every minute with them, stop having crushes, just love them and be yourself and be grateful.
Understand that you may never have children but life won’t be a waste if you don’t. Keep your body healthy, don’t gain so much weight (seriously, the weight you are at now is not fat, honest to God, just stay where you are), take vitamins, learn to love vegetables and know that maybe one day God will bless you with kids…but he may not and your life can be full with your husband and dogs (yes, you will have a husband…but the first one won’t work out).
Understand that your family loves you but that each individual member of the family is not required to be your friend. You will become a very, very different person than you are now and your family won’t always understand that, but they STILL LOVE YOU.
STOP WORRYING. STOP BEING SO PESSIMISTIC. You will have a lot of bad things happen to you but if you stay optimistic and see each problem as an opportunity for growth you will be a lot happier. And, you will have a lot of great stuff happen to you to. Enjoy the good, don’t focus on the bad.
Your nose is not so enormous that people stare at you on the street. You will never have those shiny, tan, shapely legs that famous people have. Accept both of these things now.
Don’t go to NYC the first time you are invited.
High School really does suck, okay. Life will get better than this…just get through it.
Write. A lot.
Don’t stop singing.
Learn to love your sensitivity and empathy, don’t ever try to hide them.
Do devotions and read your Bible every day.
Oh, and stop perming your hair, K?
Love,
35 year old Jen
5 comments:
What wonderful advice. That was fun to read, and I wish I was eloquent enough to do the same to my teenage self.
Yeah, it's a nice idea! Too bad we can't actually do that... *sigh*
P.S. Nice 80's Metal Band Hair!
Even if you could do it, you wouldn't listen to yourself - after all, you're a teenager. ;)
Beachgal - you are plenty eloquent enough :)
J. - I know...and the hair got TALLER in the future!
Old Sheep - You are so right...I've tried to tell some of my nieces these things and its pointless.
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