I'm tired. Being poor makes you tired. Exhausted. I have no jobs on the horizon yet (although I've applied for four very promising ones in the past week) and Paul's company put a halt to all overtime as of today and between Paul's new diabetes prescriptions and the prescriptions my opthalmologist gave me yesterday we now have $165 in medication cost per month. We don't have $165! We don't have anything, we can never go on dates, we need haircuts, we need clothes and we can't do any of it. Paul is on day 9 of 12 days in a row of work and yet we STILL can't make any progress. Well, that's not true, we are actively paying off four debts right now and that's great, its just overextending us FAR past what we can take.
Between our illnesses and my lack of work and Paul's too much work and constantly sick dogs and unexpected expenses and on and on we are tapped out in every sense of the word. Plus there is another factor in our lives that I cannot under any circumstances talk about but involves someone we know who is making our lives 10 times more miserable and there is nothing we can do about it. I've talked to my mom about this person and my mom, the devout Christian believes that this person is literally possessed by the devil.
I hear about how poor people have a higher rate of divorce and die sooner and things like that and I totally get that. Utterly. I can't imagine that there is anything more fatiguing than being poor. You can't work to fix any of your problems because it costs money to try and fix them and you can't go out and have fun to try and forget your problems for a bit cause you don't have money to do that. Not to mention that poor people are often fat and unhealthy because healthy food costs about 3 times more than unhealthy food so that makes we poor people die sooner too.
I've been trying to be a bit more upbeat lately and sometimes I succeed for a bit but today I can't. Maybe I can tomorrow again but today I can't. I firmly believe that for us, money would buy happiness. We are exhausted. I'm not sure how much longer I can live like this.
7 comments:
Are any of your prescriptions the $4 ones that Walmart offers?
Also, you can try talking to your doctors about medicine costs - often they have a whole cabinet of free samples of drugs that they will give people who can't afford the same things at the drugstore. At least, that is how the doctor's office I worked in operated. And I know my doctor has given me a handful of sample pills instead of a script before.
I worked for a short time for one of the mail-order diabetic companies (not the one with Wilford Brimley, alas). You would NOT BELIEVE the markup on that stuff. What Medicare would pay for something like test strips (which was still like a third of the retail cost at a drugstore if you bought them) was around 1200% of the wholesale cost.
I agree with the druggie sheep. I save a bunch with 4$ scripts, and before that, my doc gave me plenty of samples of stuff. Hopefully that may help.
And I totally commiserate with you my dear. A friend of mine recently came into some money and she's been happily blowing it and lemme tell you, it makes me a bit envious/jealous. I know I'd put anything like that mostly towards bills and whatnot, but who wouldn't go and splurge on themselves if they could?
I wish I had the words to make you feel better, but I don't and I hope things improve. Know you aren't alone, not that that really helps.
oh, my dear...i'm sorry that you're having such a hard time. it's so frustrating when you can't get ahead--and even if you manage to get a step in the right direction, something comes along and pushes you three steps back.
i have a very hard time dealing with people who just seem to have what they want, regardless of how they got it--and they're usually the ones living this ridiculous life where nothing they do is even remotely moral or right---and they're the ones getting ahead.
all the suggestions are good--Wal-Mart's low cost stuff, and flat out telling your docs that you can't afford the scripts. There also may be a program in your area to assist with drug costs.
From a personal standpoint, I hate being broke. I hate the feeling that I get to pay the mortgage or buy groceries--not both--and I hate the fact that it didn't used to be an issue even more. Truth be told, I'm more calm and relaxed when there is money in the account. Lately there hasn't been much of that. My prayers are with you, dearie, protection and prosperity and peace.
I'm so sorry that it's "pouring" this kind of stuff in your life right now. I will keep my fingers crossed that it irons itself out soon.
I know that there are horrible thoughts at the back of my mind about what would happen if _____? and you can fill that right in with anything that is an emergency. I had to have the cat in for "oral surgery" last month and it was almost as much as my mortgage...and after seeing the therapist the last session, she said that she detected I was a little depressed as well...sigh.
I hope things turn around for you very soon...
Although we are doing okay now I cannot forget how stressful it was to be broke and because of that I still scrimp and save and only by meat that is about to turn. I sympathize.
Have you looked into having your prescriptions filled back here and then sent down to the US?
I want to hear more about this devil person. Tell us what they are doing. If you don't use names then only that person will know you are talking about them...and is that a bad thing?
Reba
I love your title, because I think it is spot on, and I totally get it, since we are in such a similar mess (especially since the student loan payments started up again, *sigh*).
Does money buy happiness? Not exactly, but it buys temporary joy and a steady sense of security that people who have money just CANNOT understand. When I was living in Bangkok and making GOOD money, I could not BELIEVE the amount of stress that was gone from my life, simply because, if I needed to buy a pair of shoes, I would just go and get them, with no anxiety and worry, not paying a bill, and wondering "how how how!?!" etc. etc.
I still had my moments of loneliness and sadness in Bangkok, but being able to go out and buy some books, have a nice meal, see a movie, or buy a nice top (AFTER paying off all bills), was the most incredibly settling feeling. You have my shared sympathies.
I've got a few suggestions! They may sound strange/kookie, whatever... Check with your local DHS (or whatever TN calls the offices down there) and see if you guys are eligible for food stamps, low income help for energy assistance program (called LIHEAP here). I used to think that only the dregs would apply for that kind of stuff, but I'm a dreg now, and am all for getting all the help you can from wherever you can get it! Yeah, what's the devil person doing? No names, but maybe all the blog readers can give you some help on that front. Mom2
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