18 July 2008

Still Going

We're doing okay. Paul gets over things quickly and has tons of faith that we will be blessed again with a baby. I get over things much more slowly plus I'm still in discomfort with moments of significant pain and still bleeding so I can't even begin to emotionally get past this while I'm still physically going through it.

I miss her (I thought of the baby as female almost immediately for some reason). For a few days there I had this amazing secret, I was growing a child inside of me. When I started getting a bit of bleeding, before I became worried, I read a lot about implantation bleeding and so I talked to my little girl and told her to find a good spot and hold on tight. And when the bleeding got worse and I knew something was wrong I talked more and told her how badly we wanted her and how she should please work hard and stay with us. So now I miss her, I feel so empty and lonely and I'm so very tired.

Thanks again guys for everything. I'll continue to keep you updated and hopefully soon I'll be able to talk about something other than our loss.

2 comments:

Beachgal said...

Again, I'm so sorry for your loss. It's never easy, no matter how early, especially when it's so desperately wanted. I mentioned your loss to my friend who went through four miscarriages and she sends her best wishes. I continue to keep you both in my prayers.

J. Cullinane said...

We send you our best wishes as well. No matter how "common" it is, it's a still a great loss for anyone. Don't give up - just think how worth it it will be in the end!