Other worries come and go but hey, isn't it good to know that money worries are here to stay? Paul just got that big raise that I wrote about but we also now get health insurance taken out of his paycheck and plus, of course, the raise put him into a new tax bracket. The checks are still definitely larger but he feels so ineffective because we are still struggling. We were so proud that we got through the wedding on cash alone and didn't go even one dollar into debt for it, but then we got home and got swamped with new money requirements. We are so pleased to be attending Paul's godson's christening but it is costing us an ENTIRE PAYCHECK! Meanwhile; Waffles needs his last set of shots and needs to be neutered, Paul needs a new passport, I kind of want my frickin wedding photos (!) and, the biggie, immigration papers need to be filed again. As always, I think that once this stuff is done we should be relatively okay again, but in the meantime ...
We just seem to snap at each other when we are dealing with an issue. We're trying to learn to be allies in times of tribulation but instead we tend to take out our fears on each other. The other day we did the we-have-no-money grocery shop which was just peachy fun. Our freezer now has the we-have-no-money necessities; giant bag of frozen chicken parts ($5.99), giant tube of about to expire ground beef (5 lbs for $4.18!), loaf of white bread ($1) and big thing of bologna (buy one get one free!). I was trying to be perky in the grocery store but now Paul is the perky one regarding our food. I'm SUCH a picky eater that I hate being stuck with the perfectly reasonable necessities that we now have, but Paul is thrilled by that stuff. Last night he ate a can of creamed corn (50 cents) as a TREAT! A treat!! He could easily live on ramen and kool-aid which is a pretty darn good trait to have in a husband.
Regarding the immigration stuff. I believe I mentioned that the IRS says they are sending us the paperwork that we need so hopefully that will be arriving soon and then I can finish everything up. But, I'm pretty sure that the paperwork needs to be filed by May 18th and we cannot afford that. I called the hotline and asked, but in typical fashion, they were quite nice but completely and utterly noncommital. They kept saying 'you need to file ASAP' and I would say 'yes, I know, but is there a specific date?' and they would say 'you need to do it ASAP'. So, I guess I should take comfort in the fact that they're not saying "May 18th or deportation!!" but I'm just so freaked about the whole thing. At least though, we think we should be getting all the paperwork that we need. There was a time when we were sure we couldn't get what they wanted (actually there were a lot of those times...).
Like I said, we know that things will get better, but we get so precious little time together and it seems like we waste it by trying to budget where each dollar will go. One of us is always fretting and the other one is trying to cheerlead and then when person A gets more relaxed the positions switch. We struggle too because Paul feels like he is not able to support his family (which is absolutely not true, we just have freakish expenses right now) and I feel like I'm a total burden because if it weren't for my immigration fees and constant eye infections etc. we would be okay. Not to mention the fact that if I could WORK we would be okay. But - vicious circle alert- I can't work til the forms are filed and accepted but we can't file the forms until we have money and we can't get enough money until I can pull some in. AHHH!
I want to remain happy and enjoy this precious time in my life, and I am aware that it is absolutely precious, but I just can't seem to get over the fact that Paul is practically killing himself to work hard enough to support us and all I'm doing is cooking and cleaning. My mind struggles to comprehend that there will be an end and it all seems so bleak.
I feel guilty dumping this all out onto the computer screen. But, A) I have to get it out and B) I have a feeling that a lot of you know what it feels like to have constant money worries...really does anyone not?
10 comments:
Do NOT worry about "dumping on us," seriously. We are going through almost the same thing. Since we're both working 2 jobs, we have little time together, and when we do we're rather tired and crabby. It's like you said, you have to keep reminding each other that you're allies in this, not adversaries! And as difficult as it may be, TRY to treat yourselves to something, very small (I know going out to eat may be out of the question for now - our first big splurge was Outback Steakhouse, after being here THREE months).
Also, I think almost every guy could live off of bologna and kool-aid. It's part of their charm, and it keeps them economical for us gals.
When I moved to NL with Rye the money was tight too. I was unemployed for 4 months and on a strict budget as well. The good thing is I became the most cost effective shopper ever!
My "we're broke" shopping list almost never had meat on it so you're doing much better than me right off the bat!
Reba
Paul is SUCH a carnivore that meat is a necessity. But it works okay for us. We mostly bought/buy meat and then rice and stuff for me to create sauces. That way Paul can eat a whole bunch of meat and sauce and a little rice and I can eat a wee bit of meat with a whole bunch of rice and sauce.
I know what you mean though about being a cost effective shopper. I've pretty much always been poor so I'm like the best shopper ever!
Got anything you can sell online? :)
Seriously though...hang in there. You're in good company, and the two of you will manage to take care of each other.
BTW, did you know that there are over 2000 ways to cook Ramen?
*heehee!*
As a twist on the Ramen kick, I go to Asian food stores and buy the "Mama" brand (it's Thai) of Ramen noodles. (I recommend the Tom Yum Goong/Shrimp flavor) They come with bouillon, but also packets of spiced oil and crushed chilies. I think they taste WAY better than your normal Top Ramen variety, and you can get an entire box for like $6-8. Add a some chopped mushrooms, bok choy, and/or tomatoes in and you've got a feast!
I know how you're feeling. It's been this way for us since W got hurt, and he feels helpless because he can't bring in more money that what Worker's Comp sends us. It really makes things tense, but we have different issues than you. I hope all the immigration stuff gets sorted out. It does suck that the forms are so expensive to file and that it takes so damn long. You gotta dump it out somehow, and who better than the friends in the computer???
That Mama Ramen stuff sounds good! Paul just likes to do his ramen as the suggested soupy mess. I personally like to avoid the little 'spice' packet and drain the noodles and add stuff to make a sauce. My favorite is peanut butter and soy sauce etc. and make a makeshift peanut sauce.
Thanks for all your support, guys :)
One more word about Ramen, and then I'll shut up, 'cause I'm hungry...
Crack an egg into the noodles and the water while it's boiling, stir it up, add canned chicken and a bag of frozen veggies or a can of carrots, etc...let simmer until everything is hot....
Taaa-daa! Chicken Noodle Soup!
Sorta.
I wrote that down, that sounds good!
Hey, also on that Ramen thing when you drop the egg in -- first beat the crap out of the egg like you're going to scramble it, then slowly dribble it into the hot, slightly boiling water and voila -- you've got egg drop soup like you get (kinda) in the Chinese places.
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