Lightbulb Moment

Well, I've offically lost 25 pounds (after hovering between 21 and 23 lost for at least 6 weeks) and I've gotta tell you, it feels good. Better than I expected. I was lifting Smeagol up earlier and she weighs about 21 pounds...I couldn't believe that I had lost more than her entire body weight! Of course I would like to continue this, but since this weight was primarily lost due to my mysterious illness, who knows if I will. I have been very careful lately though, so we'll see. My goal is simply to stay at this weight. Our first wedding anniversary is in two months so I'm hoping that we'll have money to go someplace nice enough that we can wear our wedding clothes and I can take a comparison picture.

Speaking of my mysterious illness, I think we may have had a breakthrough! I'm quite sure this has been suggested before but about a week and a half ago several things banged into place in my brain and I began to think - food allergies. I know that I have food allergies, I was tested 3 or 4 years ago and as a child I had severe food allergies. My parents were told to keep me totally off the things I was allergic to for one year and maybe they would go away. They did and, uh, they did, but by now I had sort of forgotten what those allergies were. My mom reminded me the other day that the big three were yeast, cheese and soda. As those of you who know me may realize, those are my three favorite things. If I -could- live on those three things, I would.

I also recalled that I often felt progressively worse throughout the day (empty stomach in the morning, you see) and many times felt we-may-have-to-go-to-the-hospital bad right after eating. Often, back in the day when we could afford to go out to eat periodically, I would be feeling fine until about 10 minutes after we sat down and Paul would get offended, almost, and say 'why does this always happen when we're on a date?' Well, guess what I did in the first 10 minutes of our date? Ate the free bread and drank my soda! Duh!

I could go on and on about all the things that clicked in my head at once leading me to believe that this was the problem but this is going to get long enough already. I did some research when I thought of this and, sure enough, many people with allergies of all kinds have a resurgence when they develop another illness, particularly something that compromises their immune system. Hi? Mold? It all makes so damn much sense to me! Paul didn't get as sick as I did because he didn't have the allergy problem but he still did get sick so we couldn't figure out the connection. The mold re-triggered the allergies. Its as simple as that.

Now, of course, I don't know that for sure, but as Paul put it 'its the least crazy of all your theories so far'. So, I'm off everything now and it is so totally no fun (and explains why I finally broke the 25 pound weight loss barrier) but will be so absolutely worth it if I get better, even 50% better. I have always had NUMEROUS environmental allergies (including grass, dust, trees - you know, the outside) as well as allergies to cats and horses etc. But here is a list of my food allergies; corn, celery, carrots, chicken, chocolate, milk, mushrooms and brewer's yeast. Add to that the childhood allergies which may be making a comeback; regular yeast, cheese and soda. Do you know how many things have yeast and or a corn product in them? Everything, is the answer. The only vegetable I really like is carrots and that's out. The only meat I really like is chicken and that's out. So, I'm working on starting to tolerate red meat, fish, fruit and veggies cause that's really all I can eat. I have not totally eliminated all of these things because it is impossible (at least all at once) but, for example, I won't eat bread because of the yeast, but I will eat a rice dish that has yeast listed down near the bottom of the ingredient list.

As I have tried to figure out what is wrong with me over lo, these many months, candida has come up many times as possibility as well. So, here's what I speculate - as a child I was 'deprived' of my favorite foods, most especially bread (this was necessary for my health, but it felt like deprivation)and so when I was allowed to eat the foods again (after one year of absolute avoidance the doctors told my parents the allergies were gone) I went crazy and overindulged. As I grew up, my parents never made me eat a lot of fruits and vegetables and we ate a diet with an extremely high glycemic level. As I got still older I decided not to eat red meat and I didn't like fish so that left only chicken. Now, I was eating basically no fruits and vegetables and pretty much no meat at all. I CRAVED yeast all the time, the smell of baking bread was almost more than I could handle, I wanted it so badly. I also craved sugar terribly and tried to deal with that craving by drinking diet coke. I gained weight and lost health as my diet got worse and worse but I only enjoyed eating those foods that I now realize were the foods to which I was allergic. My terrible diet combined with frequent illness that required antibiotics, terrible stress and depression, use of birth control pills for decades and really, almost every other risk factor for candida almost certainly gave me candida. Now I craved yeast, chocolate etc. even more, got even less healthy and the cycle continued. Then, my perpetually pathetic immune system was absolutely battered my the mold problem we experienced and suddenly, an always unhealthy woman turned into a seriously sick woman.

Between the mold and the food allergies and the possibility of candida, my symptoms are all explained, every one.

It's embarrassing talking about this. I knew that I needed to change my diet, and it wasn't nearly always as bad as I'm indicating that it was, but I just craved all the bad foods in an almost desperate, physical way and hated all the good foods. Perhaps this illness will be the wakeup call that I need. Perhaps one day I will look back on this and be grateful. In the meantime I'm just praying that this is the problem. If it is it is something that I can deal with on my own without too much costly medical care. I can do this if I have to (although poor Paul has to listen to me lie in bed at night and moan about wanting bread) and I will if there's even a chance that this is the problem.

Its been a little over a week of severely limiting my 11 food allergies and I feel about 20% better. Less chest pain, fewer episodes of tachycardia, a bit more energy and even a slight lessening of my deadly depression. I go grocery shopping with a much more open mind now, trying to buy things that I would have never considered before and looking at each label.

This got long but it is so critical to all aspects of my life and, really, Paul's life too, that I wanted to share it with you. I would very much value any comments that you all have about your own knowledge of food allergies or candida or anything else along those lines. Does this seem probable, possible to you?