I talked to an old friend today, one who also had a miscarriage many years ago (almost every female I've mentioned my loss to has either had a miscarriage or had a family member who did, its astonishing) and she hit the nail on the head about how it feels. She said something like 'I became a mom the day that I found out I was pregnant, but I had no baby to show for it in the end. I was a mom without a child.' That is exactly it. That's exactly how I feel.

But, life goes on for the rest of us, doesn't it? The day after we got the bad news I was out and about early in the morning to drive into Knoxville (downtown Knoxville yet- aka more construction and interstate confusion than you have EVER SEEN) and have a second interview for a job I really want. I cried three times on the lengthy trip there but I held it together for the interview and did okay, I think. Because the job involves working with children I then had to head further into the confusion to go to the police station and get fingerprinted. I got lost twice and cried a few more times but I made it. So, I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I want this job but I would like to have another week or two to get over the physical problems associated with miscarrying.

We are also perpetually looking for a new house to rent and saw a great one in the MIDDLE OF NOWHERE on the weekend. It was a little old house with its own well for non-chemically-tasting water and so far in the country there is no trash service. Love that. So we put in an application and we'll hope on that too...although we were second on the list and I think that the stupid first people might get it.

We also managed to swing money for a movie this weekend and went to see The Dark Knight at the super cheap little theater here in our small town. Pretty good, eh? L-O-N-G though and seriously depressing. The subject matter was already depressing enough and then watching Heath Ledger's amazing final performance was even more depressing. Good movie though.

So, as always, we're waiting for stuff and hoping for good news but we're doing a bit better.